jakemalik:

I could never be an astronaut, like they need to be so smart and have so much discipline, I would just float around screaming and laughing playing with food floating everywhere

annoyedpenis:

i literally am my url

mcdolands:

Me: “dad am i adopted?”
Dad:no, ur David. why woud anyone name you ‘Adopted’? even if we wanted to, ur name was alredy David when we adopted you

flatsound:

i wanna feel how dogs feel when you let them go in a big field 

twentydeepsteps:

twentydeepsteps:

I ACCIDENTALLY PRINTED A VERY TINY VERSION OF MY ASSIGNMENT & IM GONNA HAND IT IN AS A JOKE

update on this post; my prof laughed so hard she cried and she’s going to show it to all of her teacher friends omg

twentydeepsteps:

twentydeepsteps:

I ACCIDENTALLY PRINTED A VERY TINY VERSION OF MY ASSIGNMENT & IM GONNA HAND IT IN AS A JOKE

update on this post; my prof laughed so hard she cried and she’s going to show it to all of her teacher friends omg

bombing:

meatbicyclevevo:

bombing:

alright so it’s a first person shooter game. i know what you’re thinking “been there done that” right? wrong. get this: it’s set in world war 2. preorder now

is there anything else

thank you for your feedback! no there is nothing else, what more could you need? preorder now

sofiaauditores:

*inhales* what a beautiful day *exhales* to play video games for 15 hours straight

docmario:

precumming:

what

Yoshi is a fucking snitch and is about to be taken out

docmario:

precumming:

what

Yoshi is a fucking snitch and is about to be taken out

pemsylvania:

proton, neutron, electron and crouton